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He who laughs last,
thinks slowest.
Everyone has a photographic
memory. Some don't have film.
A day without sunshine
is like, well, night.
On the other hand,
you have different fingers.
Change is inevitable,
except from a vending machine.
I just got lost
in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
When the chips are
down, the buffalo is empty.
Seen it all, done
it all, can't remember most of it.
Those who live by
the sword get shot by those who don't.
I feel like I'm
diagonally parked in a parallel universe
He's not dead, he's
electroencephalographically challenged.
You have the right
to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used
against you.
I wonder how much
deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
Honk if you love
peace and quiet.
Despite the cost
of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
Nothing is fool-proof
to a sufficiently talented fool.
It is hard to understand
how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost
of living.
Just remember...if
the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
The 50-50-90 rule:
Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's
a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
It is said that
if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would
be stupid enough to try and pass them.
You can't have everything,
where would you put it?
Latest survey shows
that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.
The things that
come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got
there first.
A fine is a tax
for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
It was recently
discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
Everybody lies,
but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
I wished the buck
stopped here, as I could use a few.
I started out with
nothing, and I still have most of it.
Light travels faster
than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear
them speak