Alcohol Warnings.....

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_{Actual
Warnings the Americans were/are considering putting on beer and
alcohol bottles. Here are our ten favourites:}

_{1. WARNING: consumption
of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are
not.}

_{2. WARNING: consumption
of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a Weirdo.}

_{3. WARNING: alcohol
may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again
until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.}

_{4. WARNING: alcohol
may cause you to thay shings likethish.}

_{5. WARNING: alcohol
may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.}

_{6. WARNING: alcohol
may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really
scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).}

_{7. WARNING: alcohol
may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter
than some really, really big guy named Chuck.}

_{8. WARNING: alcohol
may lead you to believe you are invisible.}

_{9. WARNING: alcohol
may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.}

_{10. WARNING: alcohol
may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small
(and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to disappear.}